Attitude Adjustment

So I’m behind the bar, crowded, 3 deep, solo, stressed, in the weeds, you get it. Band on stage, volume at 11, customers requesting earplugs, loud loud. I get to this guy, ask him, what can I get you?  He says, right to my face,

Well…I need an attitude adjustment first.

What was that?  I start to shake, face red, stinging, anger, fury.

I.  Need.  An attitude. Adjustment.

I take a deep breath. DEEP. I can’t believe this guy. The nerve. I say,

I’m sorry, sir. I’m stressed out. The music is too loud. I’m 3 deep. Can you just tell me what you want to drink, please?  I’m trying my best here.

He chuckles a little bit and says,

No, sorry, man. I want an attitude adjustment. It’s the name of a drink.

Oh, I say, with relief. I thought, um…never mind, I don’t know that drink. What’s in it?

Huh…I don’t know either. Just get me a Bud Light.

And life goes on.

From my heart to yours,

Clint Curtis. Bartender.

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