For Bartenders Only

This post is mainly for bartenders…so, normal people, stop reading. This is top-secret shit. We’ll be talking about you, so I need you to stop reading, and go read my other posts I’ve written, or go eat a cupcake. Enough said.

So here’s the tip, bartenders. Just the tip. Let’s say you have a customer, semi-regular, starts a tab, it gets crazy busy, you’ve got 72 credit cards behind the bar, just trying not to give the wrong card, to the wrong person (yep, that’s happened, no fun). Uh-oh, it’s 12:30am, semi-regular says, hey Joe, could you run my tab, with the universal hand sign for signing in the air. Here’s the prob: YOU SHOULD KNOW THEIR NAME BUT GUESS WHAT YOU DON’T. You know what I’m talking about. You can’t ask them, oh hey, what’s your name again? It’s beyond that point. Maybe you’ve known their name in the past, but right now, you don’t. You get it, my friend. So here’s what you gotta do:

Hey, man, what’s your last name again?  There you go. Who knows last names?  Sure Paul, Jack, Matt, Tom, but last names?  Nobody expects you to know that. So they tell you, sure, my last name is Leibowitz. Then you scan the cards, whittle them down, girl, girl, no, no, know this person, know that person, get down to a couple choices, then check out their cards, boom, there’s Lebowitz.  Adam. Then here’s the clincher, when you’re handing it back to them, you say, sorry about that, we have like 3 Adam’s tonight. Ohhh-Kay. He looks down and says,

That’s not my card.  My first name’s Zack.

From my heart to yours,

Clint Curtis. Bartender.

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