I love bartending. It’s so much fun. What do I do? I pour drinks and talk to people. Yeah, ok, I gotta set up the bar, and clean it up at the end of the night, mop up some puke every once in a while, but it gets me closer in touch with nature. And biology. And what not to eat before you get wasted. I see it on the floor, I know, ok. Don’t eat the sushi! Alright…nuff said.
I also get to learn stuff. Maybe not earth-shattering facts, but sometimes good trivia. Tonight, my fellow bartender and I were talkin about the big name hoopla for William and Kate’s kid. I gotta uncle named George, and one of my son’s name is Henry George, so there’s that.
During the midst of our conversation, I thought, what the hell is the Royal last name? You know, you got Queen Elizabeth, but what the hell is her last night? All 2 of my readers in England are gasping right now, this bartender’s an idiot. Hey! I don’t even know the difference between The House and The Senate, so there!
My fellow bartender didn’t know the answer, so I started asking customers. What the hell is their name? 5 of em didn’t know (HA!), so I’m not alone. 1 girl said, of course, let me look on my smartphone, and I said, NOOOO! That takes the fun, right outta shit.
Finally I came to a woman that said, I think it’s Windsor. But isn’t that just the name of the palace? Windsor Palace? I’m so dumb about this subject, I mean, at the end of the day, WHO CARES, but it’s fun to get a conversation goin. Make people think a bit. The chick with the smartphone said, I got some info, their last name is indeed Windsor, and then she said something about, in the 60’s, they officially changed their name to Mountbatten-Windsor. After that, I see this gay guy at the bar, I know I’ll get some info from him, and he said, ohhh, I study ALL about it. You know, all the Royals have to have a HRH in front of their name, and it stands for His or Her Royal Highness. And then he said something about a Peer Registry. He lost me after that.
So, good job, William and Kate, you procreated correctly and successfully, and had a boy, 3rd in line to the throne. As I sit on the floor, in a bathroom, next to a toilet, of a small, one-roomed gym in the basement of the building that houses the Lift…I think of you. A new Windsor!
From my heart to yours,
Clint Curtis. Bartender.