I Need Your John Hancock

So I’m at the Mews, this guy asks for his tab, I say, sure, I run it, hand it to him. Just before this went down, I was having a discussion with my fellow bartender. He says, I wonder who the first person was to clap?  You know, I’m gonna slap my hands together, to show appreciation for this Aeschylus play. Yeah, right, I say, then it caught on. That’s a really cool thing what that guy is doing. I think I’ll join him. Slap, slap, slap. Yeah, that feels good. That just feels…right. And the actor on stage is smiling. He likes it, I like it, so let’s go for it. Maybe I’ll even give him a woo-hoo, cause, why not, right?

So I’m thinkin in this vein, and I’m watching this guy sign his credit card slip, and I’m thinking, I wonder who the first guy was to say, hey, bro, I need your John Hancock right here.

If you look at the Declaration of Independence, you’ll notice how damn big John Hancock’s signature is. It takes up like half the bottom of the page. It’s like, thanks, Johnny, for leaving me an inch to sign my name.

And his signature is beautiful. I mean, he really got into it. It’s almost floral. He busted out the calligraphy pen. He was like, I’m gonna show these mofo’s how to sign a name!!

So people were like, man, I wish I had a signature like John Hancock. And then, as things do, in lexicon, idioms transform, so it became, I’m going to sign this shit like Johnny Hancock, really make a statement, into what we know today, as, if I could get your John Hancock right here, I’d really appreciate it.

Maybe John Hancock was the first guy to clap, too. He was so excited about his awesome signature, he started clapping, and then Ben Franklin, and the other forefathers, started clapping, too.

And then they all went out for drinks, and had Strawberry Daiquiris.

From my heart to yours,

Clint Curtis. Bartender.

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