Unnecessary Dickery

I’m behind the bar, cleanin up. Show’s over, fluorescents are up, guy and girl sittin at the end of the bar. A band member approaches the couple. Hey, guys. How you doin? Great. Hey, did you enjoy the show? Yeah, it was ok. Good harmonies. Hey, thanks for sayin that. Listen…would love it if you could sign our email list. The guy says, no, I don’t think so. I really don’t wanna be gettin emails from your band. Oh…ok, the band member says. Well, hope to see you around! He walks away, the guy says to his date, under his breath, hope not.

I approach the guy after I hear the conversation. I know the guy, he’s a friend of mine, so I feel like I can be candid with him. Did I hear you correctly? Did he ask you to sign his email list, and you turned him down? You’re a DICK, dude. What…I don’t like lyin to people. I didn’t really like his band, so why would I give him my email address? Dude, I say. That was unnecessary dickery. Just give him a fake email address. Problem solved. Dickboy@gmail. There you go. Perfect one for ya. Yeah, he says, maybe I’ll try that next time. Yeah, dude. Why you gotta intentionally hurt his feelings? How many people were here…like six people? I’m sure he wasn’t too pleased with that. Then you gotta go kick him when he’s down. Yeah, you’re probably right, Clint. You bet your ass I’m right. Fake email address next time. Get it.

Here’s a rule I abide by: good show, really appreciate you playin. That’s what I always say. Do I love all the bands that play the bar? What do you think? But I’m very appreciative that they play, cause they get people in the door, those people drink, and the bar makes money. Without bands, there’d be no club. So good show, appreciate you playin.

I think one band has come up to me after their show, in 10 years of me bartending, and said, hey, what did you think of my band? I want an honest answer. I really appreciated that. I said some things that I liked about their band, and some things I thought they could work on.

Then I gave em a fake email address.

From my heart to yours,

Clint Curtis. Bartender.


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