Got Me With The Thumb Ring

I see an old buddy of mine, standin at the end of the bar, I finish up with a customer, then go over to see him. I put out my hand to shake, and then I see it. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Our hands collide, CRUNCH. I scream inside, AHHHHH, as he squeezes harder. 

Yep. The dreaded thumb ring. 

Guys, guys, guys, what are you thinkin, with the thumb ring?  You ever shake hands with a man wearin a thumb ring?  It frickin hurts. Ok, wear one on the ring finger, the pinky finger even, BUT NOT ON THE THUMB. And furthermore, hate to tell ya, but the shit’s cheesy. 

I pull away my hand, I’m sure there’s a sour look on my face. Damn, dude, I say. You got me with the thumb ring. Yeah, he says, I got it last week. What do you think?

No. 

From my heart to yours,

Clint Curtis. Bartender. 

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