Animal Crackers For VIPs

Many people don’t know this, but we have animal crackers, and bar mix for VIP customers in the back. How do you become VIP?  I don’t know, become a regular, give us all your hard earned cash, then we’ll give you free animal crackers and pretzels.

I am now addicted to my nightly animal cracker fix. Around 10:30pm, I’ll go in the back, and scoop some animal crackers into a plastic cup. I put em next to the credit card machine, so when I run a credit card, I sneak a few.

Couple months ago, we run out of animal crackers. I’m like, where’d all the animal crackers go?  Basically, in my stomach. I send the acting manager a text. Need more animal crackers. And then the weeks go by, no animal crackers. I text again. PLEASE GET ANIMAL CRACKERS, NEED MORE ANIMAL CRACKERS, PEOPLE ARE ASKIN FOR EM IN DROVES. After a month of this, I give up.

Last night, I go in the back room, and GLORY HALLELUJAH WE HAVE ANIMAL CRACKERS. I get one of those big red Solo cups, fill it to the top with animal crackers, and just gorge myself with em.

And damn, were they good.

From my heart to yours,

Clint Curtis. Bartender.

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