I love Tums. I eat em like candy. I like to take a “preemptive-Tums” right after dinner.
I brought a whole thing of Tums to the bar couple months ago. Shit was gone in like two weeks. Who’s eatin all my Tums, damn it?! I know it’s not just me.
A buddy of mine, he’s a musician, we always talk Tums. We have that in common, our love of Tums. He comes in the other day, I say, duuuuude, just got the bomb Tums. Orange Cream Sugarfree Tums. Delicious. Has the same texture as Bottle Caps, kind of chalky. You gotta try em! He says, I still gotta get to Sam’s, get the giant container of Tums. Oh, shit, I say, they got em there? In bulk? Oh yeah, he says. Damn, I say.
From my heart to yours,
Clint Curtis. Bartender.