I’m in the back, counting our winnings. I split up the tips, 50-50, but sometimes there’s an extra dollar. What do you do?  Do you break it into quarters?  No. That’s for pussies.  You put one amount in one hand, the other amount in the other hand, put your fists behind your back, then tell your fellow bartender, pick.

But, oh yes, there’s a strategy to this game. Isn’t there always?  Yep, there is. In this case, my fellow bartender always goes for the left. We established that the last time we played. He won, and said flippantly, I always go for the left. Now THIS TIME, he knows that I know he picks left. Right?  So what do I do? Strategy, my friends. This is where my thinking went. He knows I’m a pretty smart guy. Again, he knows I know he favors the left. But see, he knows I’m smarter than, ok duh, he likes left, so I’ll put the smaller amount in the left. But he knows I know that. This is Jedi Mind Trick. I decide to put the big amount in the RIGHT HAND. ‘Cause, I figure, he’s gonna think, Clint’s too smart to put the big amount in the right. See that’s just one step. Too basic. I put it in the right because he knew I’d never be that dumb to just put it in my right.  That’s precisely why I did it.

Which hand?  I say. He says, I’ll take the left one.

BOOM BABY. Extra dollar is mine.

From my heart to yours,

Clint Curtis. Bartender.


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