Billy Bob

Headlining tonight’s show is a band called Guantanamo Baywatch. I love when bands add onto existing words/names to make it their own. Funny and memorable.

Girl comes up, orders a Coors Light. We get to talking, she asks, are you an actor?  I say, actually, yeah, I’ve done a bit. Yeah, she says, you look like Billy Bob Thorton. Are you Billy Bob Thorton?  I say, what?  ‘Cause I can’t really hear her very well, and I thought she just asked me if I was Billy Bob Thorton. She repeats, are you Billy Bob Thorton?  All right. I’ll play along. Why not?

Yeah, actually, I am Billy Bob Thorton, but I don’t like to tell people. It always gets me in these long conversations. Wow, she says. I thought that might be you. What are you doing in Des Moines? Well, I say, I’m actually working on a part. I play a bartender in Iowa.  I know the owner of the bar. We’re buddies from college. I’ve been here a month, getting into character. She says, that’s great!  Do you think…maybe…I could take a picture with you?

Oh shit. Do I keep up the charade?  Sure…

Yeah, why not. She comes over to the end of the bar, gets out her phone, asks the door guy if he could take our picture. He looks at me funny, I shrug my shoulders, we pose, picture taken. Well, I say, maybe you shouldn’t put that up on the Internet. I’m trying to kinda stay on the down low.

She says, I totally understand.

From my heart to yours,

Clint Curtis. Bartender.


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