I’m chattin with a customer of mine, at the end of the bar, he’s a tattoo artist. He’s showing me pictures of his recent work on his phone. Guy’s definitely talented. I ask him, what was your most favorite piece? He says, I don’t have one. Usually, my latest piece is my favorite. Our conversation winds around to, have you ever tattooed a dick? He says, all the time. All the time? Seriously? Oh yeah, he says. Tons. How do you do it? I ask. He says, you gotta just stretch it out. Then I say, has a customer ever popped a boner while you were doing it to him? He says, nah. I don’t think it’s the best feeling in the world, getting your dick tattooed. Then I say, I’ve daydreamed about getting a tattoo on my dick. He says, oh yeah? You know what you’d get?
I say, yeah. WELCOME TO JAMAICA HAVE A NICE DAY. All caps.
Down the shaft.
From my heart to yours,
Clint Curtis. Bartender.