Pokemon Guy

I have an uncanny ability to see trouble. A customer can walk into the door, and I’ll know, hundred percent, if I’m going to have a problem with them. And trust me, they never let me down.

It’s Halloween night, probably 200 plus people in the bar. At one point, I hear someone slam their hand down on the bar. I look over, it’s some guy wearing a Pokemon outfit. Looking good, dude. Whatever, I’m so busy I ignore it.

Then two minutes later, SLAM. It’s the same guy. Pokemon guy. And to be honest with you, his arms are about twice as big as mine, so I have to be careful about this.

SLAM. Ok, I gotta say something. I go over, say, hey man. You need to chill out. He nods his head. He looks drunk. I think I’ve served the guy one beer. Must have pre-gamed.

He chills out for five minutes, I see him looking at me, I go over. Yeah? I say. He says, nicely, could I get a Bud Light? Ok he seems calm. Hey it’s Halloween. I can’t be such a stick in the mud. Let them have their fun. All-right, I say, and go get the beer. We finish the transaction, I go help five other customers.

SLAM! What the hell? Same guy, now he’s slamming his Bud Light bottle down on the bar. I go to him, say, dude. It’s time for you to leave. He nods his head, but doesn’t move. I say, it’s time to go. He drinks his beer, stays put. I don’t have time for this, I’ve got ten people waiting for drinks. I go around the bar, walk up to the door guy. I tell him, see that guy there? I point at Pokemon guy. He says, yeah. I say, I want him out now. The door guy gets up, goes up to the guy, I return to the bar. I look over 30 seconds later, guy is getting up, and walking out. OK. That’s taken care of. Now, back to serving these sluts.

There’s a bunch of girls, dressed like sluts. It’s Halloween.

On with the story.

Half-hour later, I’m busting ass, all of a sudden, I see a guy, shoved up against the bar, with a crowd of guys in front of him. Yep, fight. I know the guy they’re holding back. I look over. Oh can you guess that. Pokemon Guy returns. Some guy’s behind him, got him in this fierce headlock. Please…take this shit outside.

Later on, the crowd is leaving, my buddy comes up, tells me what happened. He says, yeah that fuck was in the front row, groping Kristin on the ass, and this other girl. Kristen tells Wilder what the guy’s doing, Wilder confronts him, dude sucker punches him. Oh shit, I say, that wasn’t smart.

Wilder is one of the most popular guys I know. Here’s how it is: Wilder is the kind of friend, if something happens to you, he’s got your back, 100%. He’s straight up cool like that, and everybody knows that. So what happens when Wilder gets sucker-punched? Yeah, fifty guys, and payback’s a bitch.

The story resumes.

My buddy says, everybody sees Wilder get punched, everybody by the stage freaks the fuck out, and goes after the dude. They got him in the back outside, just beating the shit out of him. I was kicking him, he says. Chris was on top of him, just pummeling him. I ask, was there blood? My buddy says, I didn’t see any, but the guy’s jaw is definitely going to be hurting in the morning.

-Clint Curtis



2 thoughts on “Pokemon Guy

  1. mr0922@cox.net

    To close for comfort, maybe police should be called? You need to be heading for S.D. and L.A. not the hospital.

    love, pops


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