Buddy comes up to the bar, he works with me, does door. We’re chatting, I notice he’s holding a PBR can. The night is young, not many people in the bar. He says, can I get a PBR? I’m confused for a second. I’ve only served about ten drinks, I know I haven’t served any PBR’s, and I definitely know this is the first time I’m seeing my buddy tonight. I ask, where did you get that PBR? He smiles, sheepishly, says, I brought it from home. Thought I’d start early. Huh, I say. When did it become OK for you to bring in outside beer? Hey, he says. It’s just this one, and I was planning on starting up a tab with you, and buy drinks rest of the night.

I say, so…you’re rationalizing bringing in outside drinks. It’s OK, because blah, blah, blah. You know, karma CLINGS to us. You may think you’re getting away with it, but you aren’t. And it can be the smallest things, like sneaking in a beer. You get away with it, goodie, you don’t have to RATIONALIZE it to anyone, but lo and behold, you carry it around with you on your back. And every time you do something WRONG, and you RATIONALIZE IT, it just starts building it up and building it up and all you’re doing for your entire day is rationalizing. And then, you might as well not being living at all, because it’s just ONE MORE LIE.

He says, OK, man, I‘m sorry. I… I cut him off. You’re going to rationalize again to me, weren’t you? Just another excuse. Let me go get that PBR for you, and you can think about what I said.

I love bullshitting with people. I’m so…good at it.

-Clint Curtis


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