#1 Chess Champion In The World

Guy comes into the bar, steps up, orders a drink. I get it for him, set it down. We make the transaction, then he says, I read your blog. I like it. Thanks, man. Really appreciate the compliment. He says, I see you started playing chess this year. I say, oh yeah. You play? He says, yeah, I do. I say, we should get together and play! He says, that would be great. I say, how ‘bout Tuesday night? He says, yeah, I’m free.

We exchange numbers, he takes off.

The night comes, I meet him at the Royal Mile. A British pub downtown. We set up the board. My chess coach is there, to watch how I do. We get ready, he says, your move. As my hand is hovering the board, getting ready to make my first move, my coach asks him, how long have you been playing chess? He says, for awhile.

I was chess champion in Wisconsin when I was in high school.

Oh that’s just fucking great.

He slaughters me, with his eyes closed, reading a book, watching the football game overhead. After, I say to my coach, why don’t you guys play? They agree to that.

I don’t feel so bad. Guy takes care of my coach too, no problems.

Next time, you come up to me, want to play a game a chess. I’d appreciate it if you filled me on the news that you were #1 chess champion in the world.

-Clint Curtis



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