I Love Your Workout Outfit

I’m at the Y, it’s around 2:30pm, just got done playing racquetball. Good game, won three, lost one. Think I’ll go walk around the track for a bit. I read the sign, it says, eight laps = one mile. I don’t think I’m in it for eight laps, but we’ll see how it goes.

Walking around a track can get boring. Unless maybe you’ve got music to listen to. Now, outside, I can walk for miles. There’s something to look at. But inside, it’s the same thing over and over.

I’m walking, don’t really feel like running. Hey, I just ran around the court for the last hour, I can be a little lazy. Now, am I supposed to be on the outside lane, or the inside? There’s probably five people running on the track, all passing me by. It gets embarrassing, too. You know, Clint, pick up the pace! Everyone is passing you. Nah, just want a chill walk, think about the game.

There’s a girl that keeps on passing me by. She’s got an outfit she’s wearing. Shorts, t-shirt, two different colors, but they seem to match somehow. How do people do that? I cannot for the life of me come up with a workout outfit. Here’s the problem. I don’t like short sleeve shirts. I don’t like shirts with lettering on them. So what are you left with? A white v-neck t-shirt, black sweatpants. That’s all I wear. I need a consultant. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD WEAR. Like this girl running around the track in front of me. And yeah, she runs. She has the number 26.2 on the back of her shirt. I know from my wife that that is the length of a marathon. I feel like such a fraud. I need a proper workout outfit.

I see a guy on the treadmill wearing jeans. OK. I don’t feel so bad.

Later on, I’m at the bar, it’s busy, pouring a lot of pints. Girl at the bar I know, short, funny, hair pulled back, she asks, Clint. Were you at the Y today? I say, yeah. Did you see me there? She says, yeah, I thought so. I wasn’t sure it was you. You were on the track? I say, yeah, for a while. Wait a second. Were you running? She says, yeah. I say, did you have numbers on your back? She says, yeah. 26.2.

I say, that was you?!? I loved your workout outfit!

-Clint Curtis


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