I’m at lunch with my friend Derek at La Mie. It’s a restaurant/bakery in Des Moines on 42nd street near the 235 exit. We have lunch, I have a brie and asparagus omelet, he has soup and sandwich. Mine is delish, I finish it quickly.
After lunch, I get out my portable chess board, we play a couple games, he schools me both games. I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m really bad at chess. I just don’t have the temperament for it. You have to have an abounding patience, which I don’t have. I want to eat pieces as quick as possible, get him in checkmate. But that’s not how the game goes. Unless you’re a pro, take your time, triple check each move before you make it, don’t make mistakes. I’m rash, I get my Queen out too fast, inevitably blunder, lose it, then the game goes merrily towards destruction.
During our second game, I look over, there’s a girl, I know she’s an employee, having her lunch, and she’s got a can of Coke, with a straw in it. That’s just not right, folks. I know everybody’s got free will, but you have a Coke out of the gun in a cup, you use a straw. You drink out of a can? You man up, YOU DON’T DRINK IT WITH A STRAW.
I look back at the board, my friend says,
I think I got you in checkmate.
I hate this game.