Three Birthdays

I get in, I figure out which kind of music to play. I’ve been doing the Spotify. That’s it, end of story. Spotify?  Premium?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  Do I need to explain this to you?  You pay ten bucks a month, and you get every single/album known to man. With the push of a button. Bye-bye cd collection. Hello Spotify.

A friend of mine yells out, IF YOU PLAY THE SMITHS, I’M LEAVING. I’m known for my love of the Smiths. I yell back, I’M NOT PLAYING THE SMITHS. I go to the Spotify radio, click on the Indie channel, and the first song that plays is The Smiths.

I’m listening in on a conversation a couple are having. I’m going to say it’s a first date. He says, some people believe 9/11 was an inside job.

I don’t know if these people really think it was an inside job. I think these people just like to say,

9/11 was an inside job.

I’m making a drink for someone. He asks for a vodka martini with a twist. I think, damn it!  This guy last night asked me for a twist, and I gave him olives!!!

These guys come in. They’re all friends. They play music together. Hits midnight, they say, we need three birthday shots. Three?  I say. Yeah. Three birthdays, same day. I say, are you kidding me? What are the odds?

I get them three shots of lu-la. Homemade Kahlua. For their three birthdays.

There was a kid last night, came in, showed me his ID, says, January 94. I say, I recognize you. How many times have you drank here underage?  He says, two, three times.

It’s almost like you should keep on using your fake ID a year after you turn 21, to cover your tracks.

-Clint Curtis


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