You Should Never Go Back

Couple comes into the bar. Cute girl, purple hair. Young kid, probably 22. I’ve had a number of conversations with both of them over the past year or so. Good people, I like them.

But here’s the deal. They were a couple, then they broke up. I see him after, he’s devastated. I talk to her, she’s a bit flippant. Ah…he’s too YOUNG, she says.

Couple months go by, I see them separately, he says, it’s cool. We’re talkin’. Oh really? Talking now, are we?

Then slowly, slowly, time happens, and WHAMO. They walk into the bar tonight hand in hand.

Now first off I’m gonna say I don’t really care. Let them eat forks, up to them. But IN MY EXPERIENCE.  

You never go back.

You’re in a relationship, it gets messed up, things happen, you break up. There’s usually A GOOD REASON you broke up with that person.

Like they wouldn’t put their dirty socks in the laundry basket.

But what happens?  There’s a month there post break up you go crazy. I’M FREE LET’S PARTY. Unless you’re too devastated. Then you just do a bunch of drugs and bury it.

After a couple months go by, the wounds are healing, oh I kind of miss that person. We had some good times, didn’t we?  So what they didn’t clean out the litter box AFTER TELLING THEM FIVE TIMES. What does it really matter?

Then the rose-colored glasses go on. Oh remember that time we had…  Then you text them, you happen to see them out, then WHAM. You’re walking in the bar hand and hand ready for another round.

Me?  I NEVER GO BACK. Ok. I went back ONCE and then I learned my lesson. NOTHING CHANGED, WHAT WAS I THINKING? I tell you what I was probably thinking. I’m lonely,

And I’m getting horny.

Again, again, listen to me. Come in the bar with your ex, have sex on the couch, I DON’T CARE. But in my opinion, when you break up, that’s it.

And you should never go back.

-Clint Curtis


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