Sorry Sir We Don’t Have That

Guy comes up to the bar. I approach. 

What can I get you, sir?

He says, you got Ciroc?

I say, no sir. We don’t. 

A friend of his comes up, he turns to him. They talk. 

I just stand there. 

He turns back after a minute, says,

You got Bud Light Lime?

I say, sorry, sir. We don’t have Bud Light Lime. I can get you a Bud Light, with a lime in it.

He smiles, says, nah. …How bout a Bud? You got that?

I say, I do!

He says, you got it in a bottle?

Oh this is getting hilarious. 

I say, no sir. We have it in a tall-boy can. 

He says, c’mon man. 

He’s getting frustrated at the situation at hand, as am I. 

He says, fine. What kinda vodka do you have?

I say, Grey Goose. 

(That’s the vodka I’m selling tonight, so might as well get straight to it). 

He says, alright. Just gimme a vodka cranberry. 

I say, sorry, sir. 

We don’t have cranberry juice. 

He says, WHAT?!?!

I say, just kidding. 

-Clint Curtis
  

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