Blind Guy Walks Into The Bar

Blind guy walks into the bar. He’s holding onto a guy’s arm. He’s got one of those sticks in his left hand. He’s not wearing sunglasses though. 

I think I’d rock the shades if I was blind. It’s a good look. And nobody can make fun of you wearing black shades in a bar. You be like, hey, back off. I’M BLIND. 

After awhile, he comes up to the bar. Interesting looking cat. Long straggly hair in his face. Black metal t-shirt. He’s got a lot of bracelets on. 

He’s got his friend next to him, he rasps, get me a Guiness. I say, HEY. Why don’t you talk to me?  He says, I didn’t know you were there!  I say, well. I am. You want a Guiness?  He says, yeah. I go get it for him, bring it back. I say, beer’s on me, my man. He rasps, thanks man. 

I very rarely buy people drinks. I like as much money to go into the register. But the guy’s BLIND. I’m gonna say, across the board, from here to Munich, blind people get the first drink on the house. 

He leaves, I help other customers. 

He comes up, 20 minutes later, actually solo. He raises his hand. I go to him, say, another Guiness?  He says, yeah. Don’t worry, I’m not driving tonight. 

Nice. A blind joke. 

I say, man. I would NEVER want to be in a car with you driving. Period. 

He laughs. 

I get him the Guiness, bring it back. He’s got his wallet in his hand. He says, how much?  I say, five dollars please. He says, can I use a card?  I say, sure!  He opens his wallet. It’s a battered Slipknot wallet. He’s representing. He feels around in his wallet. I guarantee, he knows EXACTLY where every card is. He takes out a card, hands it to me, I say, dude. THIS IS YOUR LIBRARY CARD!  He exclaims, 

What?  Really?!?!

I say, nah. Just messin’ with you, man. 

-Clint Curtis

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