I Am Holding A Redbox DVD In My Hand

It’s 8:50pm, I’m driving to work, I’ve got a Redbox DVD in my hand. Not a Blue Ray, I’m not that fancy. It’s a DVD.

I like Redbox. I know, I know, get it on the Internet, it’s 2015. Well…I just like going to pick them up. They’re cheap as hell. Like a buck 75. In comparison to four-five bucks on the internets. And what if the Internet is out, you’re screwed!  I’ve got Mediacom, and it goes down all the time. Get a DVD, no worries. Ok, its got a scratch, don’t play, that’s annoying. But you get the new releases, no worries.

But ALL THAT has nothing to do with my story.

I’m driving to work with a Redbox DVD in my hand. It’s Southpaw. Decent movie. Not what you call great. I got it on Monday, oops, it’s Thursday. Yeah. Shoots the whole, save money on a movie, don’t it?  And my wife, I put it on the counter to take it back, and she shoves it in my drawer so I can’t see it!  My drawer IS A MESS who the hell knows what’s in there? I try to clean it out every three months, but at the present moment,

It’s a disast.

So you put something in there, three months later, huh. That’s where that went. I’ve told my wife, please don’t put my Redbox in there!  But she doesn’t listen. Who does, ya know?

Who. Really. Does.

Anyway, all that, ALL THAT, has little to do with my story.

Picture this guy driving his car, he’s got his left hand on the steering wheel, and his right hand is held up, in his face, holding a Redbox DVD. Why is he holding a Redbox DVD?

Duh.

Ya put the dang Redbox on your passenger seat, what happens?  Well, if you’re me, you drive RIGHT BY that Redbox machine outside the grocery store, you get to work, look down, yep, there’s the damn Redbox DVD. AND THERE’S ANOTHER BUCK 75 DOWN THE DRAIN. ‘Cause I’m downtown, I’m at work. I can’t get to the Redbox machine until 3AM,

So I’m screwed.

So THIS TIME I’m gonna HOLD THE DAMN DVD IN MY FACE. I can’t possibly forget it, can I? There’s no way. NO WAY. I focus. I do a mantra. Return the DVD. Return the DVD. Return the DVD. I’m only a mile away. I’m almost there. I’m…

Wait a second. Did I turn in that contract at work?  Ok, I know I turned in the check, I know I turned in the listing contract, I was really thorough about that. But did I turn in the purchase agreement?  Dang it, this is going to bug me all night. I’ve been juggling real estate, bar manager stuff, bartending, family time, my brain is going here and here and here. Oh, here’s the exit, I’ll just take, what am I holding in my…

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

-Clint Curtis

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