Smoking Is Now Good For Your Health

I’m at the mall, at the mall Starbucks, drinking a Decaf Americano, and people watching through the glass. I’m enjoying myself, I don’t care what you say about “Corporate Coffee”, it’s strong (oxymoron, I know for Decaf), the atmosphere is good, and hot chicks come in. That’s always a pleasure to see. Ok, I’m married, but I can still appreciate the beauty of woman. Big, small, tall, young, old, there’s always something. 

A guy I know walks in. He’s a customer at a bar I work at. My first instinct is to duck my head, turn away. He’s a really nice guy, but I don’t really feel like having a conversation. It’s my day off, ok?  I talk for a living, when I actually have an afternoon off, I want to be peaceful, and not have to “be on.”  I just want to sit back as I am now, enjoy my coffee, and enjoy the sound the espresso maker makes when heating the milk. 

He comes over. Clint!  How are you?  We talk, about nothing really. His girlfriend moved back from Brazil, we make the connection that she lives in the same area as I do. We chat about that for a bit, his coffee is ready, he says his good-bye, I say my good-bye, he exits. 

I go back to people watching. Aren’t they fascinating? Filling time walking around this place buying things they don’t need. Maybe that’s the entire meaning of life, but a bit pessimistic. Let’s get dressed up in cool clothes, go to the mall, walk around, look at things, buy things, we really don’t need. Or probably, particularly want. As human beings, we’ve been doing that for centuries and centuries. Walking around the market, buying exotic wares from faraway lands. 

That can’t be it, can it?  How do we become significant? I mean in 200 years, no one’s going to give a care about our lives, are they?  We’re just going to be another tombstone to walk by. As insignificant as, that’s a funny name. Or, I wonder who that sucker was?

People now are enmeshed with their technology, and whatever, so what, I’ve resigned myself to it. I’m just as addicted to my phone as the next person. I wake up, check my phone, see who texted me, who emailed me, who asked to be my friend on Facebook. 

It’s 3pm, it’s time for me to leave this place, go to another place, to pick up my boys at school, they were there, learning stuff, interacting with their peers, so that someday, they can walk around the mall, with their cell phone in hand, and look at things they don’t need, and buy things they don’t need, and then go pick up their kids at school,

At 3pm. 

I go outside, walk to my car, on my way, an older woman lights up a smoke. I say to her, have you heard smoking is now good for your health?  She smiles, says yes,

But she says it because it was the first thing that came to her mind. 

Not because she heard the news. 

Because there was no news. 

I was just trying to be funny. 

-Clint Curtis

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