I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO HEAR THIS STORY

I’m behind the bar, there’s a group of three in front of me, and the girl in the middle, IS TALKING REALLY LOUDLY. I don’t think it’s because she thinks her friends are hard of hearing. I don’t think she’s deaf, and can’t control the volume of her voice. 

I think she just wants THE ENTIRE BAR TO HEAR HER STORY. 

But that’s not the annoying part. I mean, that happens all the time, right?  One guy gets up on stage, tells a bunch of people a story. So telling a story to a large group of people isn’t annoying. It’s the ACTING LIKE YOU’RE JUST TELLING A STORY JUST FOR YOUR FRIENDS TO HEAR when obviously YOU WANT THE ENTIRE BAR TO HEAR YOUR ANNOYING STORY. 

I mean, cool, say to the room, EXCUSE ME CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?!?!  Then you tell the story. That’s fine, that’s good. That’s HONEST. It’s the deception that’s annoying. As if WE DIDN’T KNOW you wanted us to be eavesdropping. 

Get. Out of here with that. 

It’s like Facebook. IT’S EXACTLY LIKE FACEBOOK. Oh I’m going to say something to my friend, I’m just going to put it RIGHT HERE on her wall. Just a little private message for her to see (and all of her other 10,000 friends). And I’m going to ACT LIKE she’s the only one I’m telling the story to, but actually

I’M TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD THE STORY. 

Isn’t it funny?

-Clint Curtis

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