I’m bartending a private party backstage at Noce, kid comes up, says to me, with a 10 year-old’s version of a British accent, aye CHUMP, I’d like a Pepsi.
What did this kid just say to me? Chump?
I say, you don’t say that to someone. It’s not a complimentary term.
I say it like you’d imagine John Malkovich would say it, right before he kills you.
He looks down, starts stammering, uh…um…sorry, I…
I go get him a can of Pepsi, crack it open, and when I do, it sprays all over his face.
I set it down, and say,
There you go. Chump.
(ok. it didn’t spay him, and I didn’t say that, but it would’ve been awesome if I did).