I’m bartending a private party backstage at Noce, kid comes up, says to me, with a 10 year-old’s version of a British accent, aye CHUMP, I’d like a Pepsi.

What did this kid just say to me?  Chump?

I say, you don’t say that to someone.  It’s not a complimentary term.

I say it like you’d imagine John Malkovich would say it, right before he kills you.

He looks down, starts stammering, uh…um…sorry, I…

I go get him a can of Pepsi, crack it open, and when I do, it sprays all over his face.

I set it down, and say,

There you go.  Chump.

(ok.  it didn’t spay him, and I didn’t say that, but it would’ve been awesome if I did).



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