Monthly Archives: September 2016

Change Up Your Grip

Let’s say you want to pick up the game of tennis.  You find a racquet, you get some tennis balls, you grab a partner, you start playing.  You go out three times a week, play with friends, and after awhile, a year, maybe three, you start getting good.  You win most of your games against your friends.  You don’t take it too seriously.  Then maybe you join a team, and start playing better players than you.  A coach comes along one day, watches you play, and says, you need to change up your grip, it’s all wrong.  What?  I can’t play like that!  That’s impossible.  You try the new grip for a brief time, and you start losing games.  Games you should win, if you only played with your old grip.  Then you start to question.  Hey, what’s this guy talking about, change up my grip?  I was doing just fine with my old grip.  I was winning most of my games.  Ok, maybe it wasn’t pretty, but it did the job.  After awhile, you just give up the new grip, and go back to the old, because you just can’t see it.  It’s too hard.  And furthermore, maybe that new grip is just not right for me.  It doesn’t feel NATURAL.  It feels AWKWARD.  So you go back to the old grip, start winning those games again against your friends, and

You never get better.

Then one day, you play against a real tennis player, and get SLAUGHTERED.

You think, maybe when I switched up my grip, I should’ve just stuck with it.  And practiced MORE.  Maybe if I would have played with the new grip, every day, non-stop, at some point, it would’ve clicked.  But I just didn’t BELIEVE.  I couldn’t see the end result.  All I could see is losing those games I would normally win.  Maybe if I would’ve just STUCK WITH IT, and BELIEVED that my game would’ve gotten exponentially better by changing my grip, in the end, I would’ve become a better player.

This is a problem with most things in our life.  We have a difficult time with CHANGE.  Probably because of our inherent fear of failure.  And what does that mean?  What are we so scared of?  We’d rather keep on doing something the wrong way if it kind of works, instead of relearning how to do something the right way.  It’s that old saying we cling to, if it aint broken, don’t fix it.  But I think this is a bad way of thinking.  As we evolve as human beings, the way we do things should evolve.  If there’s a better way to do something, clearly, no matter if it makes us “worse” for a time being, we should do it.  But there is a road block, and a stubbornness we all have.  I know I do.  We throw up our hands, and give up all too soon out of laziness and fear, usually.  Instead of swallowing our pride, and trying the new way.  And sticking with it, come hell or high water.

This is probably one of the main reasons why we keep on doing the same things over and over, and never get better.  In relationships we have.  Perhaps a lot of times, we do it the wrong way, because no one has ever taught us how to do it the right way.  We just “wing it” instead of trying to learn how to do the thing right.   Maybe because the right way takes too much effort.  And opens us up to the possibility of failing.  But I guarantee you will never succeed at anything by doing it in a way that’s not the best way.  And if you can find the better way of doing a thing, you should try it, and do it, no matter how many steps back you have to take during the process.

Blond Comes Up To The Bar

Blond comes up to the bar. Hi, what can I get you? She says, what do you have for wine?  I say, we have one wine. A Chardonnay. She says, that’s it?  I say, yes, unfortunately. They don’t allow red wine in the building. …Expensive rugs. She says, a bit put off, fine. I’ll have the Chardonnay. 

I pour the Chardonnay, she takes it, and leaves, I help another customer. 

Two minutes later, blond comes back up, sets the wine glass down on the bar, says, this wine glass is dirty. I say, oh. I’m sorry about that. I grab another glass, make sure it’s clean, then pour her another glass of wine. She says, thanks. And leaves. 

Five minutes later, blond comes back up, sets the wine down, says, ew. I don’t like that. I say, ok. She says, do you have like a Michelob Ultra?  I say, yes. We do. I grab the Ultra, crack it open, set it down, then say, I want to apologize in advance that it’s flat. 

She says, what?

I say, repeating, I want to apologize in advance when you have to bring it back because it’s flat. 

She’s speechless for a moment, then smiles. 

Sometimes you have to say SOMETHING, you know?  

To keep your wits about you. 

Don’t Make Things Worse

I have a new philosophy on life.  Oh here we go.  I almost want to roll my eyes at my own words.  I feel like I’m constantly getting a new philosophy on life.  Honing in on what truly matters.  Something, one concept, one idea, that will sum everything up.  THIS is how you should live your life.  Something SO simple that cuts through ALL the bullshit.  It’s so refined, so clear, so concise.  If you follow this, well, life will be good guaranteed.

Anyway, TODAY, my new philosophy on life is to not make things worse.  That’s it.  You go through your day, something bad happens, fine, GOOD, it does, it happens, guess what?  DON’T MAKE THINGS WORSE.  Swallow your medicine.  No it doesn’t taste good.  No it hurts.  It’s embarrassing, whatever it is.  STOP.  It happened.  Move on, don’t make things worse.

Because let’s face it.  Bad things happen in our life, right?  Things don’t go our way most of the time.  I don’t know, maybe they do?  Maybe we just notice it when things go wrong?  Maybe 98% of the time, things go good, but we don’t notice that.  We just sure as hell notice it when things go wrong.

This year has been a huge transitional year for me.  Let me wrap it up in a nut shell.  When I was young, since I was 12 years old, I wanted to be an actor.  I worked towards that goal until I was about 27-28 years old, and then realized, at the time, that having a career as an actor, was not in the cards for me.  So, what do I do?  Time for career idea number 2.  I kind of stumbled into bartending, and did that for 13 years, and just last year, I got my real estate license, and figured, hey, I’m 44.  I can’t be a bartender for the rest of my life.  Why don’t I try doing real estate?  And that’s now what I’m doing.  But it’s not easy.  In some ways, it’s a lot like an acting career.  You wake up unemployed, every day, and you gotta get out there, and hustle your ass off, to book the gig.  And the competition can be fierce.

About a month ago, a friend of mine invited me to an AA meeting, and I went, and I’ve subsequently gone to three AA meetings, and, let me tell you, it’s an eye opener.  For one, I’m seeing guys in there I’ve served drinks to, which is kind of hilarious, I’m sure, from their perspective.  Think about it:  Finally you get the courage to put down the drink, to walk into an AA meeting, and you gotta see some bartender that got you wasted one time.  The irony is not lost on me.  But what I will say about the experience is I respect every last one of those people in the room, that had the courage to admit that they have a problem.  To get up, and tell a story about their life.  Things that maybe they’re not completely proud of.  It’s a completely inspirational place to be in, and I highly recommend it to someone that has a problem, and needs help.  But that’s the thing.  You could take the most normal, put together person, clean, sober, and invite them to an AA meeting, and I guarantee they will get something out of it, if they have an open mind.

And that’s why I thought, hey, this might not be a bad idea for me.  To go to an AA meeting.  I’m over 4 years sober right now, and this would be THE PERFECT TIME for me to start drinking, because I’m not bartending full-time now.  So I’m going to go in and do what is known as preventative maintenance.  I’m going to go in for a tune-up.  Let’s remember clearly why you got sober, Clint, and all the good things that have come out of it.  Let’s be on solid ground, so we can move on.  And, as I talked about in the beginning, LET’S NOT MAKE THINGS WORSE.  Because trust me I know things can get worse.  Oh yes.  They can ALWAYS GET WORSE.  You’re crazy if you think they can’t, my friend.  Because they can, and they will.

So what I do know to reiterate things is I give good focus when things go wrong.  Ok, this happened.  Now.  If I did this, would it make things worse?  It would?  Great.  Don’t do it then.  Ride out the storm, tomorrow will come, and things will probably blow over, because you stopped things before they could get worse.  Because, see, bad things are going to happen.  That’s inevitable.  That’s IN THE CARDS FOR ALL OF US.

So just swallow the medicine, man up, and move on.

And don’t do ANYTHING that might make it worse.



Car Charger

I’m behind the bar, older woman sitting at it, wearing a white shirt, black vest.  I’m going to guess she’s in the service industry, just got off work.  Maybe she’s working later, perhaps?  I’m going to guess she’s done for the day.  She’s had a few.

She says to me, can you plug in my phone for me?  I look, she’s got her iPhone out, plugged into the charger already.  Unfortunately, the kind of charger she has is FOR A CAR.  You know, the ones that go into your ashtray lighter?

Let me go pull my car around, lady.  I’ll plug it in there.