Blond comes up to the bar. Hi, what can I get you? She says, what do you have for wine?  I say, we have one wine. A Chardonnay. She says, that’s it?  I say, yes, unfortunately. They don’t allow red wine in the building. …Expensive rugs. She says, a bit put off, fine. I’ll have the Chardonnay. 

I pour the Chardonnay, she takes it, and leaves, I help another customer. 

Two minutes later, blond comes back up, sets the wine glass down on the bar, says, this wine glass is dirty. I say, oh. I’m sorry about that. I grab another glass, make sure it’s clean, then pour her another glass of wine. She says, thanks. And leaves. 

Five minutes later, blond comes back up, sets the wine down, says, ew. I don’t like that. I say, ok. She says, do you have like a Michelob Ultra?  I say, yes. We do. I grab the Ultra, crack it open, set it down, then say, I want to apologize in advance that it’s flat. 

She says, what?

I say, repeating, I want to apologize in advance when you have to bring it back because it’s flat. 

She’s speechless for a moment, then smiles. 

Sometimes you have to say SOMETHING, you know?  

To keep your wits about you.