Monthly Archives: January 2017

You Had Me At Patrón

I’m working the hotel bar, three ladies walk up. What’s up, ladies?  How we doing?  Good, good. They order. Blond says, I’d like a margarita. No salt. I say, we have a specialty margarita on the menu. It’s called THE GRAND MARGARITA. It’s really good. She thinks for a second, then says, what’s in it?  I say, oh, let’s see…there’s Patrón, and Grand –

She cuts me off dramatically. 

Says, STOP RIGHT THERE. I’ve heard enough. You had me at Patrón.

I’ll take it.


When Julia Roberts Played Julia Roberts

I’m in a hotel room in Minneapolis, It’s around 10pm, I think I’ll watch a quick movie, before hitting the sack.

I check out Netflix, I see the movie Ocean’s Twelve has recently been added.  Haven’t seen that movie in ages, don’t really remember much about it, seems like it would be some light fair, perfect for the night.  I hit play, settle in.

If you know anything about the Ocean movies, they got all these huge stars together, to be in the movies.  Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon, etcetera.  I believe Ocean’s Eleven was a remake.  I’m thinking the Rat Pack was involved in it.  Seems like a no-brainer.  Fun heist movie.  Get all these huge stars in it.  Money in the bank.

In Ocean’s Twelve, the sequel to the remake, the basic premise is they all get busted for pulling off the initial heist by the victim, played by the casino owner, Andy Garcia, and they’re forced to pull off another lucrative heist, to pay him back, “with interest”.  To be honest, I remember the movies to be a lot cooler than they’ve ended up being.  After watching Ocean’s Twelve, it seems dated, and mostly corny.  But I was entertained.  And amused at how much Brad Pitt eats during both movies.

Watch the movies back to back, and in almost every scene Brad Pitt is in, he’s munching on something.  I don’t know if that’s in the original or not, but I thought it was pretty comical.

One thing that struck me about Ocean’s Twelve was Julia Roberts character.  Near the end of the movie, part of the heist had her playing the part of a movie star.  Julia Roberts.  I wonder if that was easy for her to do?  In the movie, she’s playing this “normal person” that is married to/with George Clooney’s character.  Then, at a certain point, she has to “play herself” outside the movie.  She puts on the big dark sunglasses, the floppy hat, the million dollar smile.  Oh, but wait, guess who has arrived at the same hotel?  Bruce Willis as himself.  And they’re best buds, of course.  But he doesn’t seem to realize that this person is not Julia Roberts, but is actually IMPERSONATING Julia Roberts.  But wait…ok, she really is Julia Roberts.  A real mind bender.  It’s cute, but I bet it was fun/strange for Julia Roberts to play.  She had to do some soul searching.  Who am I?  Who is Julia Roberts the movie star?  How do I impersonate myself?  I can’t do it with complete confidence.  I can’t be too good.  I have to play it a bit nervous at certain times.  What happens if they realize I’m NOT Julia Roberts?

But then she probably already lives those kinds of moments in her real life.  How she perceives herself, is probably completely different than how others perceive her, naturally, and I’m sure she’s aware of that.  She wakes up just like us every day with morning breath.  She puts on the smile, plays the persona of Julia Roberts I’m sure.  Maybe it was a liberating experience for her and she really didn’t have to act that much because she’s felt that insecurity before of people finding out that she’s actually just a normal person, and NOT a walking movie star 24/7.

I was lucky enough to meet Julia Roberts many years ago at a bowling alley wrap party for Erin Brockovich.  My friend Rhona Meyers was one of the costumers on the movie, and I was her date for the afternoon.  At one moment in between terrible games of bowling on my end, Rhona says, Clint, I’d like you to meet Julia.  There I am in the late 90’s in a bowling alley face to face with one of the biggest stars on the planet.  She is truly gorgeous/stunning in real life.  I stick out my hand, she takes it, and says, simply, hi.  I’m Julia.  I smile, thinking to myself, of course you are! but how wonderful it is that she said it anyway.

-Clint Curtis