I’m serving at the bar, I go up to a table, there are four people sitting down. I say my salutations, hi, I’m Clint. Will you be eating food tonight, or just drinks? Drinks. Great. Let’s start with you. What can I get you?
I make my way around the table. Tito’s soda with a lime. A Des Moines IPA from Confluence (a delicious local). A glass of Malbec. I get to the 4th woman. She asks, do you have sugar-free lemonade?
What the hell? Sugar-free lemonade? I darest say, I’ve never in my 45 years heard of sugar-free lemonade. What is that? Lemon juice? But there is NO WAY this woman wants a pint of lemon juice. And furthermore, I don’t believe we have a pints-worth of lemon juice. That sounds horrible anyway.
I say, no. I’m sorry. We don’t have lemonade that doesn’t have sugar in it. What is your second choice?
She thinks for a second, then says, I’ll take a glass of water, without ice.
That…I can do.