Fishing Your ID Out Of The Toilet Bowl

I’m cleaning up the bar, end of night, I attack the women’s restroom.  That’s always a shit show.  Literally.  I have to be honest with you.  For some reason, the women’s room is always worse for wear in comparison to the men’s room.  I’ll give the ladies the benefit of doubt, and a bit of understanding.  I’m sure at home they have to deal with some lazy-ass guy that never does any cleaning.  So when they’re out and about, it’s PAYBACK for the person who has to clean up the bathroom.  I’m ok with that, and will accept the brunt.

I’m in the ladies room, I’m sweeping up all the paper towels littering the ground.  I take out the garbage.  I go into the stalls, to see what’s going on in there.  I lift up the lid, and, what’s that at the bottom of the bowl?  Hm.  Looks like someone’s ID.  Love to see how that exactly went down.  OK…that sounds weird.

Never mind.

I make my way back to the bar, grab one of those disposable gloves.  Always handy.  I go back to the women’s room, go in the stall, reach into the toilet, fish out the ID.

I get behind the bar with it, wipe it off, get rid of the glove, and wash my hands thoroughly.  Hm.  Now what?  I read the name, then get an idea.  I’ll reach out to the young lady on Social Media.

Hey there.  This is Clint, your bartender for the night.  I found your ID at the bar.  Actually, IT WAS IN THE TOILET.  I’ll have it behind the bar for you, just ask the bartender for it next time you come in.

You know, I never heard back from her, and the ID was there for months.  But please note how I went the extra mile.

And THAT’S WHY I’m a badass bartender.

Not only will I make you a great cocktail, but I’ll fish out your ID from the bottom of the toilet bowl.

-CC

 

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