The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is White Pants

I’m bartending, I look out into the crowd in front of me, and I notice a guy, with white pants. Ok, maybe white slacks. I don’t know if they had pleats or not, bc he was facing away from me. They were not cream, but bright white. He was wearing a jacket with it, and I’m going to assume, a collared shirt.

So I’m thinking, wow, that shit is daring. I have NEVER in my LIFE ever worn white pants. Could you imagine the fear you would have on getting a stain? Just take one glass of wine spill. One time you sit in something wrong. Think of the paranoia you would feel. I just couldn’t do it. I have too much to worry about. Ok, women now, they can hang with the white pants. They’re more responsible than men. They know all the tricks on getting out stains. And usually, they look good on them. I don’t know about the don’t wear white after whenever. You’re not going to hear from me, oh me gerd, that woman is wearing white in November!

Later on, the guy comes up, and damn if he doesn’t get a glass of red wine. This guy’s my hero!  The NERVE!  The AUDACITY!

The fearlessness.

JFK would’ve been impressed.



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