I’m at the Denver airport, coming back from LA being a TV star. I’m sitting on a hard chair, waiting for my flight back to the DMI, sipping at a cup of coffee. I watch the people walking by. Waiting for flights. Sitting looking bored. I notice a trend. Everybody’s on their phone. I think of the phrase “Your Phone Is Your God.” For most, that is the truth. Such a common addiction for us all, and I’m included. I try to stay off of it as much as possible, but it’s difficult being a real estate agent. I’ve tried a number of tricks, maybe you can use to curb your addiction as well. Turn off your phone when working. I find I can focus better when it’s off while bartending. Nobody wants to see their bartender on their phone, ignoring them, when all they want is a drink after a long day working for the Man. Also, and here’s a good one: NEVER get on your phone when you’re around people. Difficult, I know. Go to the bathroom, and check it there. Whatever you have to do so no one will see you on it. I guarantee if you implement this rule, you’ll curb your addiction. And also, give focus to the moment. I can’t stand it when I’m talking to someone and they’re constantly checking their phone. It’s rude in my opinion, and tells me that whoever is texting them is more important than me. And I need ALL THE ATTENTION, obviously.
I’m in the airport, and I’m noticing another trend. I notice, the moment a person is not talking with a person, or engaged in an activity, they pull out their phone from their tight pocket. Girls keep their phone in their back pocket, I’ve noticed.
I’m constantly learning, and crafting a better me. How do I do it? Well, I try to be in the moment as much as possible. NOTHING is more important than where you’re at, and the things around you. When you’re on your phone checking Instagram, Facebook, reading the news, it SUCKS YOU into a distant reality. One that sends your mind away from the present moment. I believe, because we’re constantly on our phone, we’ve lost a focus in our interactions with other humans. When was the last time you gave complete attention to your friend, instead of posting some selfie on Social Media? We, as a whole, have forgotten how to listen to each other. And here’s my point. People are feeling IGNORED for the most part because of this lack of focus, and lack of respect to the person they’re talking with. Instead of listening and acting/reacting to the person in front of us, we are addicted to the thought that someone more important might be texting or emailing us. Turn off your phone, and be in that moment. You will find that if you listen to people, they will be more willing to listen and give you attention. And let me tell you, listening is an art form, and I don’t exaggerate. Here’s how it works: Someone is talking to you, and in the middle of what they’re saying, you start formulating what you’re going to say, believing that it’s more important than what they’re saying. And if you’re in the market to learn something, YOU CAN’T LEARN WHEN YOU’RE TALKING. This is a technique actors should use. When someone is telling you a story, listen, and when they’ve said the very last thing from their “monologue,” react to that final thought. It’s challenging, but when people feel like you’re actually listening to what they’re saying, and honestly reacting to what they’re saying, instead of formulating some story to one-up them, I guarantee you will get further in this life. Even on a subconscious level, they will feel you’re listening, and naturally like you more. If you don’t think that in this world gathering friends instead of enemies is essential to your success, you’re wrong. It’s the key ingredient, and when you learn how to do it, you will master the art of communication. And if you have great communication skills, it’s pretty much all you need to succeed. I know this is complicated to implement, but you can practice with everyone you encounter, whether it be your friend, or the convenience store clerk.
Instead of your phone as your God, turn it off, immerse yourself in the moment, and make the NOW be your God.
And if you want the final trick to solve your phone addiction, delete ALL Social Media. Impossible? Nope. I did it recently and my life is, without a doubt, easier, gives me abundantly more peace of mind, and more time to imagine the kind of life I want to lead.