I’m at Horizon Coffee Shop in glorious Downtown Des Moines. I have a Caramel Latte, hang out for a couple hours doing work. I get done, pack up my bag, grab my empty coffee cup, take it up to the counter, set it down. The Hipster Barista with a Beard says, thanks, man. I look at him in the eye, and say, you’re welcome. As if I had just done this monumental thing for him.
I like to do that to people. When they say “thank you” by rote, I like to say, you’re welcome. As if I had just saved their puppy from being hit on I-235. It’s a hilarious thing to do. Especially when someone is saying the thank you, and they’re not deep in it. So the “you’re welcome” comes off a bit extravagant. When in the past I’ve said thank you, and someone gave me the you’re welcome, as if they’ve done this great deed, I’ve wanted to say, you know what, bud? Relax with the you’re welcome. I just said thank you because I have to. I could’ve picked up your damn empty coffee cup myself.