The Double-Take

As a bartender, I try never to do “The Double-Take.”  What is The Double-Take, you ask?  Well…it’s when someone orders some ridiculous drink, that doesn’t make sense, and you question their order.  Sometimes I’d like to be almost robotic.  What would you like?  A tequila and Coke with a sugar rim?  Sure, absolutely, coming right up.

But sometimes, I just can’t help myself.

First up, lady approaches the bar, asks for a Cosmo.  I’ve made a thousand Cosmos in my life, not a problem.  But then she says, I’d like gin in it.  What?  I’m sorry.  (Double-take).  Gin?  Are you sure?  Yes, I want gin in it.  Well, Cosmos are usually made with Absolut Citron vodka.  Are you sure you want gin instead of vodka?  Yes.  Make it Tanqueray.  Allll-right.  A gin Cosmo coming right up.

Then she says, I had one in New York and LA.  They make it there.  Well, gee, shucks.  Must be good then.

Then, about five minutes later, another lady approaches the bar, says, I want a Pomegranate Martini, put some olives in it.

You gotta be kidding me.  Olives in a sweet-ass martini?!?  Am I on Candid Camera?

Ok, how about I make you a Pomegranate Martini, and give you some olives on the side?  No, she says.  I want them in it.  I like it when the olives soak in.

Ah, yeah.  That sounds delicious.



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