Monthly Archives: May 2018

The Big Difference Between Call & Well

I’m behind the bar, it’s around 4PM, guy comes up, sits down. How ya doin’, what can I get you? He says, I’ll take a gin and tonic. Great. What kind of gin? Tanqueray, Bombay, Well? He says, what does it matter when you put a mixer in it? I’ll take the Well.

This, my friends, is a smart man.

What DOES it matter? It really doesn’t. The moment you put your cranberry, or your Diet Coke, or your tonic in it, the nuance of the liquor will be lost. Ok, I’ve heard some say, cheap booze gives me headaches, and that might absolutely be true. But there is NO WAY someone is going to tell the difference in taste between a Grey Goose Cran, and a Well Cran. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s nearly impossible. Let me break down a drink. Most drinks are 9 ounces. 1 1/2 ounces is the booze. That’s 7 1/2 ounces of mixer. The mixer will inevitably clobber any subtlety you might find in your chosen Call liquor.

I know you’re thinking, hey, Clint. Don’t you want to sell that high priced booze instead of the Hawkeye Vodka? Hell yeah, I do! The bigger the tab, usually, the bigger the tip. But facts are facts, and the guy at the bar with his gin and tonic was right.

Let’s flip things a bit, and talk about drinking booze neat, and on the rocks. Neat, for the amateurs out there, means no ice. NOW. Are you going to tell the difference between a Well whiskey like Ten High, in comparison to Maker’s Mark, when you drink it neat? I’m going to say a strong maybe. It really depends on your pallet, and your history with a specific booze. Trust me, I’ve done taste tests with seasoned drinkers, and 50/50 they choose the Well, over the Call liquor. So I’m not totally convinced EVEN when you drink the liquor neat.

Let’s be honest. We all fall prey to the psychological aspects of what is advertised to us on a daily basis. For YEARS I drank solely Tanqueray Tonic. It was the only thing I’d drink. But I’m not convinced I’d even be able to tell the difference between the “good stuff,” and the Well.

So what should you take away from all this? TRY EXPERIMENTING. That is always fun. Drink the Captain and Coke, then try the Well rum and Coke, see if you can tell the difference. ALL THAT MATTERS is you find something that suits your taste buds. Be open-minded. Mix things up.

Literally.

In the end, maybe the only thing you find different between Call and Well is the difference on your bar tab.

-Clint

95f5f8da-a788-4c87-88be-53cbbb8b6976_1.b596468c9fbd2ded32d5d2664fbd2bec

Advertisements

Be Bold

I’m at the hotel bar, it’s Sunday, around 10:30PM.  Earlier, the server gets cut around 8pm bc it’s so slow.  I get a couple tables here and there, nothing too crazy.  An older gentleman, classy, with his daughter, they order two Bombay martinis.

Kitchen closes at 11, I go outside to get a breath of fresh air, come back thru the kitchen, and the woman doing dishes says, you’ve got a table.  I hustle-up, get to the bar, and there’s indeed a new table.  …Of 20.

Holy shite.  I’m a bartender, not a server.  I get flustered when there’s more than four people at a table.  I actually HATE serving tables, but find myself doing it more than I care to.  I start taking their orders, as I do, another six people join the party.  Chaos.  And what majorly sucks is, these people are being UBER-picky.  10 of them order burgers, and you’d think that this would be easy, but no.  I want a burger, medium well, but I don’t want this on it, but can you put this on it, but wait, I don’t like those sides, could I get this instead?  EVERY SINGLE BURGER ORDER IS LIKE THIS.  And then, mind you, I have to remember which one goes where, bc they all look pretty much the same, but with variance.  And to top it off, everybody wants separate checks.  That’s always fun.

It was a nightmare, true and complete.  But an angel arose from the ashes.  A woman in the party quickly introduces herself, and tells me she works at the hotel.  She says, do you need some help?  YES, PLEASE.  I get to entering in everybody’s order, and the phone starts ringing.  Room service.  And with no server, guess who has to somehow figure out room service, which I haven’t been trained on?  At this point, there is NO WAY I’m getting someone’s room service order prepared, and take it up to their room, no matter what the logistics.  I answer, and say, I’m sorry.  We don’t have anyone doing room service tonight, but I can take your order, put it in a to-go, and you can pick it up at the bar.  He says, that’s fine, no problem.

While the cook is in the kitchen, casually freaking out at all the orders coming in, I hit the tables.  What can I get you?  I want a water with a lemon.  I want a coffee.  I get the coffee.  I want cream, with a lot of sugars.  I go looking for cream.  I return.  I want a Sprite.  Put some cherry juice in it (grenadine).  Can I add something to my order?  I’d like to change my order.  My wife said take this off the burger, can you put the jam back on?

Oh what true hell hath come to my life.

My angel from the ashes helps me start handing out food.  Burgers, wings, wings, wings.  I really have no idea where everything is going.  If this was just some nightmare I could wake up from, but there’s no waking.  Can I get an extra Ranch dressing for my fries?  Can I get?  Can I get?

Somehow, all the food gets out to the right people.  I get two people tell me their hamburger isn’t cooked enough.  I take the burgers back, the cook puts them back on the grill for a minute, I return them to their proper place.

Right when there’s a lull, with everyone eating, a manager from the front desk comes up, asks me if I need help.  I’m sort off stuttering at this point.  Uh..well…uh…I…have no idea whose bill is whose.  I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

He says, just be bold.  You can figure it out.

If there were only two words he said that could magically calm me, and help me get to the finish line, be bold was it.

Be bold.

I walked up to the main table, and said, all-right.  What else can I bring you right now?

-Clint

Going Out On A Limb

Two guys come up to the bar.  First guy says, I’ll have a Tito’s Cranberry with a lime.  I say, you bet.  And you?  Other guy looks over the beer bottles and the taps.  He says, Hmm…I think I’m gonna switch it up a bit.  Go out on a limb…

I’ll take a Bud Light.

-Clint

5188048443_029ed353df_b

The Elevator Business

About a month ago, guy sits at my bar, we get to talking.  I find out he designs and builds elevators.  Seems like an interesting job.  He specializes in glass elevators for tall buildings.  He shows me pictures on his phone with him at the top of a 30-story building, strapped in.  No thank you very much, I get vertigo just looking at the pictures.

Tonight, he comes back into the bar, sits down.  I remember he likes Coronas without the lime.  Corona?  He says, yes, please.  I get one out of the cooler, open it up, set it down.  I say, so…how’s the elevator business?  He says,

It has its ups and downs.

Hey-oh!!!

-Clint

 

maxresdefault