Matt McCuum Gig Log

Gig Log #6:  D’Jais, New Jersey

I got a really crazy call from my manager.  I thought he was joking at first.  Amy Adams wants to meet you.  What?  The actor?  Yeah, she’s in New Jersey shooting, and was wondering if you’d be free in the afternoon before your gig at D’Jais.  Well…I was planning on finding a laundromat to clean my clothes, but I suppose that can wait an extra day.  I still have one clean pair of underwear!!!

Clint says, she wants to meet at Grounds For Sculpture, at the big Marilyn.  Say noon.  I say, I’ll be there!

Sure enough, it’s 11:57, I find the damn towering Marilyn, the classic pose with her dress billowing, and there she is.  Amy Adams.  This IS a weird life I live.  I mean…have you seen Arrival?  Nocturnal Animals?  She has got to be one of the top actors working today.  I’ve always been impressed with her work, and also, it’s not tough looking at her.

Matt!

She puts out her hand.  I shake it.

Amy Adams!  What an HONOR!!!

She smiles a million-dollar movie star smile.

I say, how big is that thing you think?

She looks up, then back at me, says,

That’s what she said.

Oh this is gonna be a fun day.

We start walking around the grounds.  I did a little bit of internet research on the place.  There’s over 800 sculptures on the grounds!  What a magnificent place.  And such a cool person to share it with.

I say, I’ve decided I want on my gravestone to say, Matt McCuum.  Born 1972-blank, then underneath it, it says,

“That’s What She Said.”

How AWESOME would it be if someone were to be randomly walking by, and see that.  It’d be sure to put a smile on their face, don’t you think, Amy?

She says, I’d smile.

I’m gonna do it.

We walk on.  I say, mind if I smoke?

She says, with a twinkle, yes!  I do.  It’s bad for you, Matt!

I light up.  I know, I know.  All good things in life are bad for you.

She says, you got one for me?

Absolutely!

I get out a Marlboro Light 72 for her, and my lighter that says, CHILL OUT.

We stop, she puts the cigarette between her lips, I light it.

It’s an unusually beautiful day for December.  No wind, it doesn’t blow out the flame when I light it.

It lights, she takes a drag, exhales.

She says, my character I’m working on right now smokes.  So…fuck it.

Hey, you’re just getting into character, that’s all.

She smiles.  Right.

I say, what’s your character name?

She says, Ashley.

Hm.  You could pass as an Ashley.

She says, I hope so.

What’s your character like, if you don’t mind me asking.  

She says, I don’t.  I’m an art dealer, with a focus on sculpture.  There’s a murder.  Blah, blah, blah.  

I say, so perfect place to be!  A sculpture park.

Yeah, I thought I’d multi-task.

I say, wait a minute…  Was this all a ruse to bring me here and MURDER ME?!?

She says, well…you already have your epitaph picked out.

I say, THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!

-Matt

(For more info about Matt, go to mccuum.com, or visit Matt’s FB page)

grounds-for-sculpture

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